A dream. A romance. A love. In Words. I think you prefer when the world "together" means not "a million," but just two.

  Poems to Louis


I was one of the insatiables. The ones you'd always find sitting closest to the screen. Why do we sit so close? Maybe it was because we wanted to receive the images first. When they were still new, still fresh. Before they cleared the hurdles of the rows behind us. Before they'd been relayed back from row to row, spectator to spectator; until worn out, secondhand, the size of a postage stamp, it returned to the projectionist's cabin. Maybe, too, the screen was really a screen. It screened us... from the world.


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How long ? ...

How long is this deep feeling of happiness going to go on?

I'm so happy in this very moment I could cry.

How long is this going to last? How much longer is he going to be that perfect?

How long .... ?
1.3.07 21:26


Me and You

I can't describe how much I love you, my love, my friend, my brother, my soul ...
1.3.07 22:12


And then the disappointment is there.

Fuck. I hate myself. As if I didn't know it would happen ...
1.3.07 23:09

How could I ... ?

How could I ever think things would be the same again?

As if I could turn back time.
As if we could be children again.

So there goes my soulmate.
So there goes my love.

Therefore yesterday was something like the secret kiss of two former lovers, who broke up decades ago.
It felt like it felt back then. It felt right, altough it was wrong.

I was wrong.
Because he was wrong to me.
4.3.07 01:02


All these things happen so fast.
My life rushes on by.

The changes happen so fast.
One moment everything feels perfect. The other moment everythings broken.

I have to learn how to deal with it.
6.3.07 23:33


I always say I hate the summer.
In a way I do.

But today, when the first warm sunlights fell on my skin, I was happy. It made me happy. The light, the warmth.

I'm a little bit afraid of the upcoming summer. It will be some kind of a real summer for me. My first summer.
It will be, for the first time, a summer I am going to enjoy.

Because I feel so much better these days.

I can't think of how I felt a year from now. I was so fucking far away from the world and from myself.

I'm anxious to feel again. Even if I do it on my own.
12.3.07 00:17


How can they do it over and over again?
Don't they ever notice she is playing with them?

I hate this.
I can't bear it.
I ccan't understand it.

And in some way, I envy it ...
13.3.07 23:33

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